Dr. Orion Taban's video, "Modern Women: You Can't Have It Both Ways," delves into the central conflict he argues modern women face: the desire to simultaneously possess the social freedom historically associated with a "prostitute" and the respectability traditionally accorded to a "lady." 🤷♀️ This creates an inherent contradiction in the contemporary sexual marketplace.
Historically, Taban explains, women were distinctly categorized. A "lady" maintained virginity until marriage, supported by social structures, often from higher classes, and commanded a lifetime commitment of provision. Her virtue was paramount; a 19th-century lady would find the suggestion of sex after a few dates deeply insulting, akin to being treated as a prostitute. In contrast, a "prostitute" exchanged sexual opportunities outside of marriage for various resources, not just cash, but also attention, pleasure, or relief from boredom. The key differentiator was the transaction of sex without marital commitment.
The video posits that profound societal shifts, particularly women's efforts over the last 60 years to shed social restrictions, have led to the functional extinction of the "lady" archetype. Taban estimates fewer than 1 in 100 women today meet the traditional definition, considering pre-marital virginity rates. This, he argues, has rendered the "gentleman" obsolete, as his specific behaviors lacked a counterpart without the lady.
This shift has created a modern dilemma: women seek the "best of both worlds." They aim to enjoy uncommitted sexual freedom throughout their 20s, then desire the respectability of a lady for marriage in their 30s. However, this inconsistency clashes with men's perceptions. Modern dating trends, like "soft life girls" demanding expensive "wine and dine" dates (e.g., $350+), exemplify this. Taban provocatively interprets these demands not as a lady's protest against disrespect, but as a "prostitute clamoring for a raise." He suggests these acts, intended to signal "high value," instead advertise a specific, often low-end, "price" for sexual opportunity, thus blurring the lines between archetypes. 💸
The consequences are significant. Taban argues women often become both "unsuccessful ladies" (by transacting sex outside commitment) and "unsuccessful prostitutes" (by charging less than successful escorts). This impacts men's perceptions, making traditional gentlemanly behavior seem illogical. The term "lady" has been reappropriated to signify merely a "relatively low body count" and high dating cost expectations, far from its original meaning.
Final Takeaway: Dr. Taban is not advocating a return to past customs; "the genie does not go back into the bottle." Instead, he urges a clear, realistic understanding of the contemporary sexual marketplace. He notes that a woman strictly adhering to the traditional "lady" archetype today would face being "priced out" unless she possessed extraordinary qualities, as it makes her "sexual opportunity" significantly "more expensive." Women, having embraced their freedoms, show no desire to revert to past restrictions. The imperative is to make informed decisions based on this current reality. 🧐