Restoring your Internal Sense of Safety after Trauma w/ CPTSD Expert Dr. Arielle Schwartz

Restoring Safety After Trauma: Insights from Polyvagal Theory with Dr. Ariel Schwartz

This video features a conversation between the host and Dr. Ariel Schwartz, a leading expert in trauma recovery and author of eight books, including The Polyvagal Theory for Trauma. Dr. Schwartz specializes in somatic approaches to trauma, EMDR, trauma-informed yoga, and applied polyvagal theory. The discussion centers on how trauma lives in the body, how to recognize the nervous system’s threat responses, and most importantly, how to restore a felt sense of safety even after chronic or complex trauma.

Understanding Polyvagal Theory 🧠

Dr. Schwartz introduces the core idea of polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges. The vagus nerve is the tenth cranial nerve, a superhighway of communication between the brain and body. The theory describes three distinct neural circuits, each evolved for different survival functions:

• Ventral vagal (social engagement) – This “higher” circuit allows us to connect with others, read facial expressions, tune into vocal tone, and feel safe enough to rest. It prioritizes connection as a biological necessity.
• Sympathetic (fight/flight) – The mobilizing system that prepares the body to confront or escape danger.
• Dorsal vagal (shutdown) – The oldest, most primitive circuit that triggers immobilization, collapse, and dissociation when threat is overwhelming and escape is impossible.

A key insight: safety cues come from relational signals – a warm glance, a soothing voice, a caring presence. Infants depend on these cues from caregivers to know it is safe to relax. When these cues are absent or inconsistent during development, the neural wiring for self-regulation can become impaired, making it harder to feel safe later in life.

The Graded Threat Response ⚖️

The nervous system responds to threat in a layered, hierarchical way. Dr. Schwartz explains the three steps:

1. Social engagement first – We instinctively scan for connection. The classic example: when startled, people look for another person’s eyes to ask, “Are we okay?” This is a built-in biological drive.
2. Fight or flight – If social connection fails to restore safety, the sympathetic system mobilizes action.
3. Shutdown/collapse – If neither connection nor action is possible, the dorsal vagal circuit takes over, producing stillness, numbness, fainting, or dissociation. This is the “opossum response” – becoming uninteresting to a predator.

Two additional hybrid states are discussed:

• Fawning (appeasement) – A mix of social engagement and sympathetic activation. The person tries to soothe or please a potential threat to stay safe.
• Submission – A mix of social engagement and dorsal vagal collapse. The person dissociates from their own pain to maintain the attachment relationship, even when the other is the source of harm. Common in controlling relationships or marriages that become emotionally dead.

Trauma as an Incomplete Action 🎬

Dr. Schwartz defines trauma not by the event itself, but by what happens inside the person – an experience that overwhelms the capacity to integrate and complete. A classic analogy: a car accident where one passenger freezes while the other acts to escape. The one who acted has completed an action; the one who froze is left with an unfinished response.

“What lies in the internal experience of PTSD are the incomplete actions or the frustrated actions that didn’t happen.”

This unfinished business keeps the nervous system stuck – either in chronic hyperarousal (always ready to fight or flee) or in chronic shutdown (feeling hopeless, heavy, and disconnected). Dr. Schwartz uses the Lion King example: if the movie stopped right after Mufasa’s death, Simba would be frozen in shame and guilt forever. But the story continues, and he eventually mobilizes to reclaim his place. Healing trauma means helping the body and mind finish the story.

Restoring Safety – Practical Tools 🌿

Dr. Schwartz emphasizes that safety can be rebuilt through simple, present-moment practices. Key elements include:

• Orientation – Gently turning the head and scanning the environment for a neutral or safe anchor (a plant, a bird, a friendly face). This signals to the nervous system: “I can move, I can see, I am safe enough right now.”
• Breath rhythm – Every inhale activates the sympathetic system; every exhale activates the parasympathetic. Rhythmic breathing (e.g., 4-second inhale, 4-second exhale) restores flexibility between these states. Irregular or shallow breathing reinforces anxiety or collapse.
• Posture and movement – Forward bending (e.g., child’s pose) is parasympathetic; spinal extension is sympathetic. Alternating between them – like in cat-cow or a seated “breath of joy” (hands on shoulders, open chest on inhale, curl inward on exhale) – restores autonomic rhythm.

Dr. Schwartz leads a short “breath of joy” exercise during the interview, demonstrating how conscious movement and breath can release tension and bring a sense of lightness.

The HEAL Protocol 🔗

Drawing on work by Rick Hanson, Dr. Schwartz describes a simple process for rewiring the brain toward safety:

• H – Have a positive experience (notice a small moment of safety, connection, or beauty).
• E – Enrich it – stay with the sensation for 20–30 seconds, absorbing the details.
• A – Absorb it – let it sink into the body as a real, felt experience.
• L – Link it – gently connect this positive anchor with a challenging memory or pattern. This builds a new neural association: “I can feel both pain and safety; they can coexist.”

This is not toxic positivity – it is building the capacity to hold both suffering and joy, and to move between them without getting stuck.

The Role of Co-Regulation 🤝

Finally, Dr. Schwartz stresses that we do not heal alone. Chronic complex trauma often stems from relational betrayal, so relational safety is essential for recovery. Sources of co-regulation can be a therapist, a supportive group, or even an imagined safe figure (like Mr. Rogers or a spiritual presence). Pets and nature also serve as powerful allies.

Regular practice – like brushing your teeth – is key. Small, daily shifts accumulate over time, just as the sun’s arc changes only minutes per day yet transforms the seasons.

“We have seasons inside us. Gradual changes build up and compound.”

Key Takeaway 💡

Restoring a sense of safety after trauma is possible, but it requires consistent, gentle practice that engages the body, breath, and relational connection. Polyvagal theory offers a compassionate map: we are not broken – our nervous system is simply doing its job based on past experience. By intentionally orienting to safety, regulating our breath and posture, and linking positive moments to old wounds, we can gradually rewire the nervous system toward flexibility, connection, and resilience. Healing is not about erasing the past, but about learning to move between pain and peace without becoming trapped in either.